TIMECRIMES

So....Timecrimes you guys. Have you seen Timecrimes? Because you should see Timecrimes. I think it's written somewhere in the Book of Geek that if you are a geek, you must love time travel and the unending, mind-warping, tantalizing paradoxes it raises. Such as: Will any human ever be this cool, ever again?

The answer is no. You will never be this cool. Marty McFly is the truth.

Hollywood is pretty obsessed with time travel lately, as well. Especially Sirs Abrams, Lindelof, and Cuse. You three are responsible for blowing my mind after last week's LOST finale. My brains are still stuck in the carpeting. There will be a cleaning bill in the mail. The last time a movie about time travel really threw me, literally jaw on the floor, was Primer. By the way, have you seen Primer? Because you should see Primer. And now, we have Timecrimes, which left me sitting on the couch, in shock, for about...oh, three minutes, before I leapt up to do a victory dance and promptly knocked my shin on the coffee table. So that's...something. Directed by the Oscar-nominated Nacho Vigalondo, (smashing name!) Timecrimes is an incredibly simple, elegant, and concise time travel film (something that is a pretty incredible achievement). It's incredibly organic, rather than sci-fi; it has a very distinct realistic feel to it, it seems very rational. Timecrimes starts out as a slow burn, with a regular joe, named Hector, leading a rather ordinary life...and then suddenly veers into "ohmygodohmygodohmygodwhatthehellwasthat?!!" territory so quickly, it's physically jarring. Using time travel as a plot device, rather than the focus of the film, Timecrimes rapidly settles into noir/pulp/thriller territory, as we find our regular guy Hector trying to outwit and outlast his duplicate, time-travelling selves. Timecrimes is one of Magnolia's Six Shooter Film Series, which also includes the incredible and previously reviewed Swedish vampire film, "Let the Right One In" and Michael Rapaport genius superhero film "Special". The other films in the series are on my Netflix list, and I am looking forward to them with great anticipation. Check out Timecrimes you guys:

Special

Okay, so I'm a bit of a crybaby. I admit it. I even cry buckets at those commercials they play during the Olympics...you know, like THIS ONE. Damn you Morgan Freeman and your velvety voice of dramatic tear-causing power!!

Ahem. So, when I say that a movie makes me cry, it may not seem like much, but in my defense, it has been a hell of a long time since I cried at a movie. I guess I've just been watching way too many zombie/samurai/sea monster/demon baby movies. Regardless, the non-crying streak was broken with "Special", a movie that kicked my legs out from under me and left me bruised and broken, but yet, in some strange way, afterwards I appreciated my life and all of its craziness just a little bit more after watching this movie. I've said it before and I'll say it again, a truly fantastic film is one that either changes your life, alters your reality, or challenges you to handle it.

Michael Rapaport is just...god, he's incredible. He plays a parking lot attendant who enters a drug trial. Unfortunately, (fortunately?) for him, the drug has quite a few out-of-this-world side effects...side effects that lead Rapaport's character to assume the mantle of superhero, with disastrous (glorious?) results. This film is truly all about his performance, without his total commitment to getting the living shite kicked out of him, the film would be nothing. It's his earnestness, his never-ending hope of being something more than just a regular schmuck, that drives the movie, making you watch as he gets repeatedly thrown to the wall again and again.

My only problem with them film is that as the credits rolled, I wanted more. But I have to be happy with what I got, because the movie was made for peanuts, and it's amazing that the filmmakers were able to do what they did at all. This movie is going to be filed under "movies that made the sun shine a bit brighter" in my collection. Check it:

The Nines

Oh my GOD, RYAN REYNOLDS. I don't often lower myself to teenage lovecrush level, (for real, my hugest crush is Crispin Hellion Glover...not your typical dreamboat) but damn. He is so great...I even like him in his crappier stuff. But let's be honest here, while Ryan Reynold's abdominal muscles really deserve their own separate credit in his films, there is more to him than a pretty face. He really is a great dramatic actor, and he's got a real talent for making otherwise astronomically crappy films (see "Amityville Horror") rise above expectations. Unlike some other actors...(yes Stephen Dorff I AM TALKING TO YOU. I miss you man. I miss "Cecil B. Demented" and "SFW" Stephen Dorff. He misses you too. Please lay off the "Alone in the Dark" crap-fests).

All of my rambling boils down to this: "THE NINES" IS AWESOME. I can't believe I had no idea this movie existed, being such a fan of the weird, sci-fi, shapely abs, and bizarre dream sequences. Yet, again, it took a seriously awesome movie ninja to turn me onto this movie, and I am forever thankful.

At times wildly hilarious, chillingly frightening, and mind-bustingly intelligent, "The Nines" really defies all categorization. When I asked said movie ninja to tell me what "The Nines" was about before we watched it, he really couldn't give me a straight answer. After watching it, I too, am left pretty unable to label the film as anything other than motherfucking incredible. All of the acting, including Reynolds', is really fantastic. The plot is really the star of the film however, twisting and turning, leading you down several dark and twisted paths, only to throw a killer of a punch to the kidneys with a stunning climax.

Just go watch it already, seriously, I can't say it enough. LOVE IT.

Confidence

So, it's safe to say that I'm a bit obsessed with movies. So when I meet someone, that can show me stuff I haven't seen before, you can color me impressed. So here's my official shout-out to a fellow movie ninja who is almost as awesome as I. ALMOST.

I was a little worried when "Confidence" began, because, well, it stars Edward Burns, who can be either incredibly awesome ("Saving Private Ryan") or incredibly awful ("Sound of Thunder"). But I'm really glad I got over it, because "Confidence" was a suprisingly awesome slick caper film, and the quality of the film is due almost entirely to Burns' performance.

Yes, it's your basic con-artist caper premise, replete with double-crosses, back-stabbing, fast-talking, and big money. But what sets "Confidence" apart from the nigh unbearable "Ocean's 11" series is the ensemble of actors. While "Ocean's 11" is dragged down into a murky mess by it's clunky cast of heavy-hitters, "Confidence" is faster, smarter, and cooler with the likes of Rachel Weisz, Paul Giamatti, and Dustin Hoffman at the reins. But in the end, it is Burns' performance that ties the film together. He's the guy every guy (and geeky chick) wants to be...smart and slick with just enough of the goof in him to be irresistably likable.

The plot is also remarkably easy to follow, and the caper itself is believable, a point which is crucial, because yet one other thing that sucks about "Ocean's 11" and the like is that their capers are so stunningly full of inconsistencies and plot holes because they are all too busy trying to be slicker than the next guy. Blech. "Confidence", on the other hand, has a believable heist, and pulls it off perfectly without a whole bunch of needless bells and whistles bogging it down.

The cinematography and the music are also high points of the film...here's to wishing I was as cool as Edward Burns!

Paprika

I'm picky about anime. Just as with American film, there is a TON of anime, and the majority of it is pretty awful. However, there are a few creators who really bend the possibilities of animation, breaking boundaries and bringing mind-blowing art to the masses. Satoshi Kon is one of these creators, and he has blown me away with everything he's done; even creating one of the greatest anime television series ever, the surreal, violent, and beautiful "Paranoia Agent". With "Paprika", Kon has outdone himself, creating one of the most amazing anime films in history.

Every time I show "Paprika" to friends, especially those who don't watch anime, they have been left speechless by the film. Don't get me wrong, I am not against 3D animation by any means, but when you see this movie, you will be amazed at the shit they pull off with 2D animation. Granted, some sequences use 3D, but it's very minor. The story follows a research facility that has created a ground-breaking piece of technology called the "DC Mini". This piece of equipment enables psychiatrists to enter their patients' dreams, and researcher Atsuko Chiba uses an alter-ego, the titular Paprika, to conduct the therapy sessions. However, when one of the DC's is stolen by someone with nefarious intentions, the effects of the machine ripple across society, merging dreams and reality with disastrous results. It's up to Chiba to discover the "dream terrorist" and return order back to the world.

With an incredible soundtrack by Susumu Hirawasa and animation that will cause your brain to explode, "Paprika" is absolutely a must-see.

Severance

Who doesn't love mandatory team-building seminars? Well, pretty much the entire population of the planet earth. Fortunately for those of us who have been forced to partake in these workplace events, in general, we usually make it out alive, with all limbs intact. For the group of co-workers in "Severance", however, surviving a team-building weekend means something entirely different.

Much like zombie movies, the "horror comedy" is getting a renaissance lately, which has resulted in a dearth of pretty awful movies. "Severance" however, is one of the best, and one of my favorites.

I'm a huge fan of British comedy, and in the vein of "Shaun of the Dead", the hilariously dry wit is well balanced against the horror of the situation the employees of Pacific Palisades find themselves in when their team-building weekend lands them in the middle of the wilderness, hunted down by renegade terrorists. "Severance" plays the whole thing much more straight than "Shaun of the Dead", but this actually benefits the film, making the funny parts wildly hilarious, and the horror parts deadly scary.

The plot follows seven workers from an international defense company on a corporate weekend to an "exclusive" retreat at the behest of their company president. Featuring among the cast is the superb Laura Harris, (honestly one of the best actresses in Hollywood, why she isn't in more films I have no clue) and the hilarious Danny Dyer. For fans of both horror, comedy, and "Shaun of the Dead", you will not be disappointed with "Severance".

Brick

It's sometimes hard to review a movie that you love as much as I love "Brick". There is absolutely nothing bad to say about this movie, it's pretty much entirely a perfect film. So I'm just gonna throw this out there now, you can really just skip everything I have to say and go and rent this film, because I can't really describe the awesomeness that is "Brick".

Well...I'll give it a shot. Basically it's a hard-boiled noir mystery film that takes place in a high school. The cinematography is gorgeous, the acting is INCREDIBLE, especially by two of my favorite young underrated actors, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Lukas Haas, who play the two main characters in the film. Gordon-Levitt's character plays the role of detective, struggling to unravel the mystery surrounding the death of the dame he loves. The characters all speak as if they are in one of Dashiell Hammett's novels, and after watching the film, I decided to talk this way for good month or so; calling all girls "dames" and "dolls", jerks "dumb mugs", and "let's dust" instead of "let's go", which increased my popularity ten-fold....in my mind anyway.

Everything about this film is perfection, even down to the soundtrack, which is hauntingly gorgeous. Made on a miniscule budget, and a first-time outing for director Rian Johnson, "Brick" went on to win the Special Jury Prize for Originality of Vision at the Sundance Festival in 2005. I even went so far as to give a copy of this film to my sixty-some years boss as a Christmas gift, which went over spectacularly. Granted, he's a huge fan of Alfred Hitchcock films, but still, "Brick" will appeal to everyone on ALL levels. Stop reading my prattle and watch it already.

District B-13

I literally haven't seen a French film lately in which any character under the age of 30 isn't a delinquent in some way. Seriuously France, WTF? According to your films, all the young people in France are really busy destroying shit, rioting, murdering, and causing general havoc. But hey, don't let me stop you, I mean, if you keep making movies like "District B13", then by all means, continue with the havoc-making.

'Cause seriously, this shite is awwwwesome. Did you like that opening scene in "Casino Royale", where Daniel Craig is busting a move all over a construction site chasing this guy, and all sorts of crazy stunts are pulled out? Those stunts are based off of parkour, one of the most awesome "sports" to ever exsist. To call parkour a sport is kind of an insult, it is really more of a philosophy, in which those who practice parkour alter the way they view the world. When presented with, say, a staircase, they instead see an obstacle course.

"District B13" features tons of parkour stunts, and considering one of the main characters is David Belle, one of the creators of parkour, you can expect to have you mind blown. The story takes place in a near-future Paris, in which the ghettos have been walled off and the degenerates inside left to their own devices. District B13 is the worst of the ghettos, and the government decides to just nuke the place. Our hero, played by David Belle, teams up with the only honest police officer in the country, and, leaving a ton of broken bones in their wake, set out to save the District. The acting is so-so, the story has quite a few plot-holes, but the stunts man, the STUNTS will BLOW your mind. Oh, and check it, they are making a SEQUEL

Altered

Guess who left all their unwatched DVD's at home over Thanksgiving? Without any new movies I've decided to write about some of my all-time favorites, since I, in all honesty, cannot stop thinking, writing, or talking about film. First on the list...."Altered".

Seriously, I can count on my hands the number of really good alien movies out there. For every "Alien" there are at least seven "Alien Vs. Predator" caliber films. Being a huge fan of sci-fi, (Philip K. Dick is my homie) whenever I come upon an alien movie that really knocks it out of the park, I am forced to thrust it upon everyone, in a nerdical effort to say "LOOK HERE, SEE ALIEN MOVIES ARE NOT A DEAD GENRE!!". So we find ourselves with "Altered", a really awesome movie that literally no one knows about.

I get the feeling that most people saw the big headline on the front of the DVD saying "from the director of THE BLAIR WITCH" and immediately were all, "HAHAHA, hellllls no." Those people suck. Yes, it is directed by Eduardo Sanchez, but "Altered" bears absolutely no resemblance to "The Blair Witch". "Altered" is instead a film that is incredibly well-made, with really slick special effects, an engrossing plot, and superb acting on all parts. Considering the miniscule budget the film was made on, it is incredible to see the shots and special effects they pull off.

The plot concerns a group of five childhood friends who are abducted by alien at the ages of 15. Only four of the kids return, and their lives are...altered...by the experience. The main character, Wyatt, has chosen to live as normal a life as possible, separate from his friends, and we find him as an adult living in constant paranoia. The other guys become obsessed with capturing one of the aliens in order to exact revenge, and the film opens with them finally acheiving this goal. Unfortunately for everyone involved, they never planned further than that and end up bringing the creature to Wyatt's home, where all sorts of nastiness ensues.

The only trailer I can even find for the film follows, but it really doesn't let the viewer know anything about the film...so seriously, if you like sci-fi or aliens in any way, or even if you want to watch a great thriller of a film, just go rent this. You will not be disappointed.

Let the Right One In

In defiance of all that is "Twilight" I decided to watch a REAL vampire movie, one that has just been released but stands absolutely no chance against the legions of wildly insane "Twilight" fans, who can all just bite me. I'll stop there, as my disdain for the whole affair could probably fill a book. But no, instead of rambling on, I will instead review a vampire film that stands so far above "Twilight" that it makes this geeky chick all warm and happy inside.

Prepare yourselves, "Twilight" fans, this movie has SUBTITLES....ooooooh, I know, positively frightening. Okay, alright, I swear that's the last of the digs. "Let the Right One In" is a Swedish film that is gorgeous, haunting, bloody and yet, still at heart, a story about childhood, friendship, and that first feeling of love we all experienced when we were stuck in between being a kid and being a teenager.

It follows the story of Oskar, a 12-year-old kid who is tormented by bullies and dreams of revenge. A mysterious girl, Eli, moves in next door, a girl who seems to not feel the cold, and has a way of appearing out of thin air. The two strike up a friendship, and as events unfold, we discover that the fates of these two are entwined, with bloodily good results. It turns out that Eli is a vampire, and when her "caretaker" of sorts meets his end, her friendship with Oskar becomes much more.

The only drawback to the film is that is moves verrrry slowly, with spurts of violence and action, but for someone like me, who values substance above all else, the pace of the film fits the progression of the story perfectly. The cinematography is STUNNING, and the settings of the frozen Swedish country give the whole film a very crisp, cold, feel. The ending of the film is especially arresting, and I pretty much felt as if I had been tossed into some of the icy waters that run through this movie.

The film has already been slated for an American remake with the director of "Cloverfield" set to helm...the two films are literally at opposite ends of the spectrum cinematically, so I really have no clue how that's gonna work...

Anyways...again, "Twilight", bite me. I'll stick with quality...

Wristcutters: A Love Story

Wow, I ADORE this movie. Now, we all know I'm not the most girly of girls, so it figures that one of the only romantic films I love features characters that are all dead. However, in my defense, "Wristcutters" isn't just a love story, it's also wildly hilarious, and it has a FANTASTIC soundtrack.

Starring Patrick Fugit, one of my favorite underrated young actors, the story takes place in a sort of purgatory, where those who have comitted suicide live a bland, boring life. One of the most entertaining parts of the film are the little vignettes of each character's suicide, my personal favorite being that of Russian rocker Eugene, (who is based loosely on the lead singer of the band Gogol Bordello, a friend of the director's and whose music is used liberally within the film) who electrocutes himself with his guitar. Fugit's character is on a search for his ex-girlfriend, who killed herself soon after he did, while he meets up with Shannon Sossamyn's character, a chick who believes she doesn't belong in this purgatory of losers and is in search of the "people in charge". Featuring great cameos by Tom Waits and Will Arnett, this film is quirky, funny, and entertaining. Nothing in this movie is exactly what meets the eye, for instance, a particularly hilarious scene featuring our lovebirds after a touching evening together on a.....beach. We'll just call it that.

King of the Ants

I LOVE revenge films. I find there is nothing I like better when I'm feeling down more than watching some poor schmuck get the ever-loving shite beat out of him/her and watching said schmuck get their oh so deliciously cold dish of revenge. It's well known among my friends that the "Kill Bill" films are at positions 1 and 2 on my list of all-time favorite films. "King of the Ants" is quite high up there as well, and I never tire of telling people about it. But you've gotta be prepared...revenge films are never pretty, nor easy to handle, and "King of the Ants" is no exception.

Directed by Stuart Gordon, who is one of my favorite directors, (he just finished the harrowingly good "Stuck" featuring Mena Suvari and Stephen Rea....I definitely recommend that one as well, but when I say harrowing, I mean it...) but he is best known for his wild b-movie classic "Re-Animator".

Sometimes...we make mistakes. We're all human. We tend to screw up a bit. Our lead character, Sean Crawley...well, let's just say...he made a slight error in judgement. See, Sean's mistake landed him on the wrong side of some pretty unsavory criminals...including an unimaginably sweaty George Wendt, (who apparently is a huge fan of horror films, and was one of the films' producers) and the oldest, most slimy, Baldwin brother. These guys proceed to lock Sean up in a shed and beat him over the head with a golf club. But, as with any good revenge film, Sean eventually gets to lay down some swift retribution. They really pushed the limits in this film...you never really think they're gonna hit Sean with that golf club up until they do, and it is BRUTAL And then they do it again. And again. And oh my god NOT AGAIN!!!

WARNING: this trailer is NSFW, but it's the only one I could find...

Ravenous

I've mentioned "Ravenous" on this blog before, when I reviewed Guy Pearce's "First Snow", and this weekend, I just had a craving for a little, ahem...bite....of one of my favorite of Pearce's roles. The film came the year before "Memento" and has since been lost to obscurity, which is such a shame because it is one of the most unique films I have ever seen, and superbly acted by everyone involved...yes, even by David Arquette.

Loosely based on the stories of the Donner Party and Alferd Packer, (go ahead, wikipedia it, we can't all be weird history buffs) the story involves a group of soldiers in an isolated California outpost. All of them are dysfunctional, practically banished by the army for different reasons, and Pearce's character is no exception. When a battered and broken stranger shows up at the fort, (played perfectly by Robert Carlyle) claiming that he is the last surviving member of a group of pioneers, the soldiers head out to search for survivors. Of course, there aren't any, and the stranger is a lot more...voracious...than he seems. The movie is dark and bloody, but also quite hilarious at times, and features one of my favorite lines from any film..."HE WAS LICKING ME!!!" I can't tell you how much I love horror films that take place in the past. There's not very many of them for some reason, I guess they just don't sell well. People aren't frightened by the past, but I just love it when historical horror is done well.

Another great aspect to the film is the music, which was composed by Damon Albarn, who is best known for his bands Blur and The Gorillaz. It's weird and eerie, and somehow just fits perfectly.

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon

"Behind the Mask" was one of those movies that has been sitting in my collection for a while, but I had never gotten around to watching it. This is mostly because while I love the horror genre very dearly, I am not a fan of slasher/psycho killer films. They just feel so tired to me, and more of an exercise in how much you can disturb viewers instead of how much you can scare them, which is really the true test of a good horror film. So for a slasher film to entertain me, it's gotta be either really scary, or somehow it has to remake the theme in a fresh, new way. "Behind the Mask" does this really well, and the end product is a really great send-up of all the slasher film stereotypes in a darkly humorous way.

The plot centers around a group of grad students who are filming a documentary. They've been contacted by a guy named Leslie who claims that he is going to be the next famous psycho killer, and consequently the first half of the film is often laugh-out-loud hilarious as the crew follows this guy around as he sets up his victims, writes his own backstory, and even visits with a retired "veteran" of the business. However, we are talking about a psycho killer here, and the light heartedness takes a turn for the frightening when all of the preparation begins to actually come to fruition, and the film crew have to decide whether to stand by while the bodies fall or step in and do something about it.

Stuffed full of little inside-jokes for those who are familiar with the genre, (Leslie's pet turtles are named Zowie and Church, the names of the pets from Pet Sematary and Pet Sematary 2) and a cameo from Freddy Kruger himself, Robert Englund, "Behind the Mask" is a smart, frightfully funny film.

The Fall

When I first heard that Tarsem Singh was FINALLY making another movie, I literally burst from excitement into little pieces. For those who don't know, Tarsem directed "The Cell" way back in 2000. Reception of that film is generally mixed, but the one thing that no one can deny is the artistry of the stunning visuals that Tarsem brought to the screen. "The Fall" is Tarsem's return to cinema, and again, it is one of the most breathtakingly beautiful films ever made. If you were even mildly impressed by "The Cell", be prepared for a visual feast that will leave your eyes exhausted.

Unfortunately, the only weakness of "The Cell" was the limp, mismanaged plot, and it seems that six years later, Tarsem still can't tie together a gorgeous film with an equally arresting story. "The Fall" takes place roughly during the 1930s, where we find a Hollywood stuntman in a hospital after a botched suicide attempt. His heart has been broken, and he wants nothing more than to finish what he started. In walks an impossibly adorable little girl who is also a patient in the hospital. He tells her stories to get her to do little "favors" for him, such as stealing morphine. It's an odd relationship, one that doesn't lend itself to much sympathy for our "hero", and we only ever see the woman who broke his heart once, so there isn't much of a connection for the viewer to hold on to. The whole thing is quite reminiscent of "Pan's Labyrinth" but that movie does it so much better.

However, it is almost impossible to believe some of the sights you will see, and I still highly recommend this film, at least just for a rental. Tarsem is currently slated to direct a movie titled "War of the Gods" that is based on a mashup of Greek mythology. Here's hoping he can finally pull together his amazing artistry with a solid story.

Sunshine

Every time I watch "Sunshine", without fail, I am left utterly speechless and breathless, flailing for purchase in a reality that has been fundamentally altered. If this film doesn't affect you in some way, you must be a numb creature, and no friend of mine.

Lately, the treatment science fiction films recieve in the film industry is pretty apalling, and the way that "Sunshine" was treated was no exception. It's release date kept getting pushed back due to a "lack of interest" in science fiction, and finally lasted maybe a week in theaters with little promotion at all. It's a true shame because while it's true the sci-fi genre is pretty hit and miss, "Sunshine" is much more a psychological and philosophical journey than a straightforward sci-fi tale.

Set in 2057, we find the earth in a deep freeze due to the dying of the sun. The last hope for humanity is the crew of the Icarus II, a ship carrying a bomb that will

re-ignite the dying star. What really drives the film are the interactions of the crew, and they way that they deal with arising crises. Cillian Murphy is fantastic as usual, playing the role of the physicist who created the bomb and ultimately, the only one who can set it off. The mission starts out well enough, but the closer the ship gets to the sun, the closer everyone is brought to insanity. The amazing special effects help to convey the godlike qualities of the sun, qualities that have different effects on all the crew members, from violence to fear to worship. All sorts of philosophical questions are raised, reality is questioned, and sanity is just barely held onto with quaking fingers. When the mission becomes more and more jeopardized, you will find yourself literally on the edge of your seat, eyes glued to the screen until the credits roll. The last twenty minutes or so of the movie will blow you away.

To get the performances he wanted for the film, Boyle had the actors live together during the filming, and the sets were intentionally claustrophobic. The filming affected all the actors differently, and Cillian Murphy has claimed that the experience turned him from an agnostic to an atheist. Boyle himself has declared that he will not return to the sci-fi genre, calling the production a "spiritually exhausting experience". Boyle's most recent film, "Slumdog Millionaire", has just gotten a limited release, and already the positive reviews are pouring in. With a 90% on Rotten Tomatoes, it's evident that the guy isn't going to slow down anytime soon.

Go and watch this movie now, and be prepared to be blinded by the sun...

Naked Lunch

David Cronenberg is one of my favorite directors. I have yet to be disappointed with any of his films, and as his last two films, "Eastern Promises" and "History of Violence" have both been nominated for several awards, it seems that the rest of the world is finally catching on to his genius.

My first Cronenberg film was "The Fly", and from the moment Jeff Goldblum's "Brundlefly" started crawling on the walls I was hopelessly hooked. He's a director who takes risks and will show you things you could never imagine in your wildest dreams and nightmares.

"Naked Lunch" is no exception, and is one that I hold near and dear to my heart not only because it is through and through Cronenberg insanity, but also because it is based on a novel by one of my favorite authors of the beat generation, William S. Burroughs. It's a dark tale of drugs, obsession, art, sex, and oh yes, we musn't forget the aliens. "Naked Lunch" is a semi-autobiographical tale of the strange happenings in Burroughs drug-infused life, set in a seamy noir landscape of femme fatales, talking typewriters, cigarette smoke, and hallucinations.

The acting on all parts is really what drives the film, especially Peter Weller's performance in the lead role as an exterminator/starving artist who ends up embroiled in a double-crossing network of intrigue. Cronenberg really has a way of getting amazing performances from his leading men. The film also features Cronenberg's signature special effects, with strange beings melding flesh and machine. Check this one out and expand your reality...

Sukiyaki Western Django

I knew going in that "Sukiyaki Western Django" was either going to be absolutely awful, or absolutely spectacular. That's usually the way that Takashi Miike's films are. He's one of Japan's most prolific directors, having made over seventy films, which range from the wildly surreal "Gozu" to the kids adventure film "The Great Yokai War". Some of his stuff is classic, and some of it is so awful it can hardly be sat through.

However, despite all this, I had pretty high hopes for "Sukiyaki" because it was partly produced by Quentin Tarantino, who also has a wildly hilarious role in the film, AND because it also stars Masanobu Ando, one of my favorite Japanese actors, who is best known for playing killer student Kazuo Kiriyama in "Battle Royale" and Yusuke Iseya, from the super insane "Casshern".

Fortunately, I wasn't disappointed, but I wasn't knocked out either. "Sukiyaki" is best enjoyed as two hours of craziness that makes only the least bit of sense, but looks incredibly awesome and will at different times have you laughing out loud and staring at the screen with your jaw on the floor. The whole thing is very stylized and surreal; a mix between spaghetti westerns, samurai films, punk rock, and pirate movies. The cinematography is one thing that truly stands out. The colors are all gorgeously saturated and the sets are stunning. The actors all speak English, which adds to the who surreality of the thing, as no one is able to really emote while struggling to speak a language they aren't familiar with. This is the second time Miike has made a film this way, the first was his entry for the Showtime series "Masters of Horror", called "Imprint", which was banned from air due to it's extreme violence. That episode happens to be, in my mind, one of the Miike's worst attempts, and the actors' stumbling doesn't help it, but in "Sukiyaki" it adds to the comical aspect of the film.

I definitely recommend this film for fans of Tarantino and Miike, and also for anyone looking for some crazy good fun. But don't expect a masterpiece folks, this is pulpy cult cinema at it's best, you're not gonna find much substance here...

Transsiberian

"Transsiberian" is directed by Brad Anderson, who directed one of my favorite films of all time, "Session 9", which is a FANTASTIC psychological thriller that should get Anderson huge props due to the fact that he actually manages to get a good performance out of David "Sunglasses and One-Liners = High Drama" Caruso . Anderson also directed "The Machinist", which, much like "Transsiberian", is totally awesome until the end, which is really my only issue with an otherwise taut suspense film.

The story follows an American couple, played by Woody Harrelson and Emily Mortimer, who board the famous Transsiberian line which travels from Beijing to Moscow. I absolutely love Harrelson in this role; he plays a bumbling, wide-eyed tourist with the innocence of a kid, to much hilarity. It's soon revealed that the two have some marital issues; she used to be a wild child who was tamed by church-loving Harrelson, and the taming isn't going as smoothly as either would like. When they meet their cabin mates, the Spanish sex machine Carlos and his gothy runaway girlfriend, Abby, the suspense gets thick. It turns out that Carlos and Abby are transporting drugs, and inevitably the American couple gets all embroiled in the mess, with much blood and violence ensuing.

It's a great film, up until the very very last ten minutes or so, where it seems as if Brad Anderson just had no more gas left and called it in. He did this with "The Machinist" as well, and as a fan of his work, I'm hoping he manages to work this issue out. "Transsiberian" is still a really great film, with fantastic performances from all actors involved, and I can't wait to see more from Anderson...definitely give this one a rental.

Death Note

I can't believe how incredibly long it took for Death Note to get a North American release. A year ago, I was in Tokyo, trying to tell myself that it was perfectly reasonable to buy the DVD of Death Note despite the fact that it was fifty bucks, didn't have subtitles, and was a region 2 DVD. But I was desperate. The movie had come out in 2006, it starred two of my favorite Japanese actors, and I knew the story was incredible after reading the manga. 5000 yen later, I was the proud owner of an incredibly awesome movie. However, since my Japanese is rudimentary, I could only pick out a few phrases here and there, and never really figured out what was happening on my screen, except for the fact that it was a whole bunch of crazy Japanese awesomeness.

FINALLY, Warner Bros. Japan has released Death Note for North America. It's packed with great extras, and yes, subtitles! After watching the film again I was only further convinced of it's greatness. Death Note is the first film of two in the series, and I just found out that Warner Bros. will be releasing the sequel very soon, with a short theatrical release in mid-October!

The story of the first film revolves around a college student named Light Yagami. Light is extremely gifted, but he has a coldness towards humanity. He's played perfectly by Tasuya Fujiwara, who was the lead character in my favorite Japanese film of all time, Battle Royale. Light is disgusted with the way society deals with criminals, and just as he's reaching his breaking point, he comes upon lone notebook that just appears on the ground. Light soon discovers that the notebook belongs to what the Japanses call "shinigami", who are demons that control death. He also learns that when you write someone's name in the Death Note, they die of a heart attack 40 seconds later. The possibilities and the power granted to Light cause him to slowly but surely lose his grip on reason, as he begins to administer his own form of justice, killing off criminals by the hundreds. Eventually he begins to believe that he is a new god, and will create a perfect world.

Enter the police of Japan and a super-secret agent known only as "L". L, played by Ken'ichi Matsuyama, is another gifted youngster whose quirky habits and large brain make him mesmerizing on screen. Matsuyama plays him like Donnie Darko mixed with a little Crispin Glover. In fact, Matsuyama's portrayal of the character has gotten him an enormous following in Japan, and there has already been a movie spinoff of Death Note that centers entirely around L.

What ensues is a thrilling cat and mouse battle of the wits between Light and L, as the audience is left to choose what side of the battle they lie on. Light is using his power to kill criminals and create a better world, but he also doesn't hesitate to stop anyone who gets in his way. It's a gift of a moral quandry, wrapped up in a police thriller, with a supernatural bow on top.